Hello. My name is Jordyn. And I am addicted to the internet.

So you’re probably thinking, yeah sure you are. But honestly, when it comes to the point when I spend from 3:30 pm to 3:00 am online, there is a problem. But do I want to “fix” it? I mean sure, it totally messes with my productivity in some areas, but on the other hand, I learn so so much through all that time, and it’s pretty much the closest I can get to traveling the world and having adventures at my current income . . . . but let’s backtrack. How did I get to this point?

Although I had before gotten addicted to TV shows and movies, such as that one time over the summer that I watched five seasons of the BBC Show Primeval in a week, and that (unfortunate, but still important) phase with Twilight when I was in junior high, I never really understood the depths of my ability to obsess.

It all started in Ancient Civ when my teacher, the fabulous Mrs. Dunker, showed the Crash Course World History Egypt video starring one John Green. And as someone who quite enjoyed online video, I could recognize high quality when I saw it. So, when I needed some help with Biology a few weeks later, I remembered the fast-talking entertaining man in the video, and I decided to look it up. It turns out that that Biology was the only other Crash Course, starring John’s equally fast-talking and entertaining brother, Hank. From there my interest quickly spread until I had watched over 1000 videos on the Vlogbrothers YouTube channel.

But it was not the Vlogbrothers videos themselves that influenced my internet addiction the most. It was that they introduced me to Tumblr, a very popular micro-blogging site. Here was the place I really belonged: with the fandom bloggers.

According to Wikipedia,  a fandom (from “fanatic” and “kingdom”) is “a subculture composed of fans characterized by a feeling of sympathy and camaraderie with others who share a common interest.” Basically it is a group of people who come together over their shared love of something, and usually on Tumblr, some form of media like YouTubers, TV shows, books, bands or even podcasts. And many of these interests overlap.

So here’s how it works. Let’s say I start following blogs that post things related to John and Hank Green. Now anything that they post will show up on my dashboard. And generally, those people are not just in fandoms about the Vlogbrothers, but also shows and movies like Supernatural, Doctor Who, BBC’s Sherlock, Harry Potter, Marvel’s Avengers, Star Trek, many, many anime, and the audio podcast Welcome to Night Vale. So I scroll and scroll down my Dashboard and see tons of posts. My first post-obsession after the Vlogbrothers was Doctor Who. I watched nearly seven seasons in a week. And it goes on.

Being part of a fandom means more than just liking a TV show.

If you are a casual watcher, you watch your show and enjoy that one moment, but it stops there. But once you are part of a fandom, you see that the feelings that you have felt towards these fictional characters are shared by millions of other people. All at once you realize that you are not alone in your journey. People understand you. It comes to the point where fictional universes start to become as important if not more important than your own. And even though you have never had any sort of physical contact with these people, they matter to you.

With so many people coming together, Tumblr is one of the most loving and accepting communities that I have ever experienced. It doesn’t matter if you are black or white or queer or straight or a girl or a boy or something in between, as long as you don’t make fun of our favorite characters we will love you and tell you how beautiful you are. We believe that everyone, and I mean everyone, should be treated exactly the same as everyone else.

Why would I really want to give up such an amazing, accepting, deep-thinking, weird, and to be honest, extremely entertaining, community?

Who decides what is “productivity”? If I am enjoying myself, does that mean I’m not being productive? If I spend three days sewing an eight-foot-long giant squid pillow (which I did, in fact, do a few weeks ago) am I being productive? I did create something, something that I am very proud of. I could be doing homework, obviously. There is always something I could be doing that is school-related, but do I gain more from that? I don’t know. Is doing something creative and interesting and fun just as fulfilling as schoolwork? I think so.

Maybe I should try to cut back. At least a little bit. But I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon.